So far it's been fiction, long periods of silence, and a poem or two
Sunday, March 7, 2010
All Aboard . . . . .
It's Poetry Bus time again, only this time we're catching a train. To meet all the other passengers visit Totalfeckineejit's place at www.totalfeckineejit.blogspot.com.
Great pome, 'older men with faces crosshatched into shade.' Deadly, and the double edged sword of an ending, leaves you thinking ,wondering , guessing.Lovely.
I really like the rootless inconsequence of this, which so well captures the shifting population of any major London railway station. This was then interspersed with some moments of quite lyrical beauty and the culminating death-dreams at the end. Impresssive, this one moved me.
Titus, thanks for your comment. Really pleased the poem moved you the way it did.
Niamh, thanks. I was thinking after I posted this, I never thought about the different ways you could interpret brutal. As in, 'that was feckin brutal' (just to clarify, that's not what I was going for, ok? :)
Swiss, thanks for your comment. You've clarified, for me, what the poem is about in a nutshell!
Jeanne Irish, thanks so much, and for dropping by.
agree with swiss here, it is the 'harsh reality' that makes all the striking images. we all like to think we are older and wiser, but so often still retain romantic notions. thanks for sharing crazy field mouse
Crazy field mouse, That's so true about wanting to believe we're older and wiser - and still I'd say most of us would act the same way we would have 20 years ago if put in the same situations.
Thanks Argent - It was a dose of reality at the time, that's for sure!
Domestic, Thanks a million.
Poetikat, I'm glad you liked it. Tfe's Poetry Bus prompts are great, methinks.
This is very striking - the trains coming and going provide a perfect backdrop for the speaker's disconnect and feelings ofuselessness and hopelessness.
some beautiful lines in this poem.. loads of them! the older men with crosshatched faces, just stunning! I also love the sad spirit of youithful adventure wrapped up in this, I'm reading again! :-D
Great pome, 'older men with faces
ReplyDeletecrosshatched into shade.' Deadly, and the double edged sword of an ending, leaves you thinking ,wondering , guessing.Lovely.
I really like the rootless inconsequence of this, which so well captures the shifting population of any major London railway station.
ReplyDeleteThis was then interspersed with some moments of quite lyrical beauty and the culminating death-dreams at the end. Impresssive, this one moved me.
This is great, really. Love the young girls with brutal haircuts, definitely a "can't look away until the end" kind of a poem.
ReplyDeleteyes, this is very evocative. i 'like' the way it portrays that youthful hopefulness getting confronted with harsh reality
ReplyDeleteDreams, schemes and beams of hope, memories... terrific trains of thought here.
ReplyDeleteTfe, thank you - I sorta like that line myself :)
ReplyDeleteTitus, thanks for your comment. Really pleased the poem moved you the way it did.
Niamh, thanks. I was thinking after I posted this, I never thought about the different ways you could interpret brutal. As in, 'that was feckin brutal' (just to clarify, that's not what I was going for, ok? :)
Swiss, thanks for your comment. You've clarified, for me, what the poem is about in a nutshell!
Jeanne Irish, thanks so much, and for dropping by.
A powerful story of possibility, and being adrift, and dreams and how we don't always reach them but you can try again.
ReplyDeleteBrava!
agree with swiss here, it is the 'harsh reality' that makes all the striking images. we all like to think we are older and wiser, but so often still retain romantic notions.
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing
crazy field mouse
This has hard edges to it. Very evocative of a rough life in a rough place. Very nicely done.
ReplyDeleteThe emotions were palpable in this poem, felt I was there with you. Wonderful poem.
ReplyDeleteFor some strange reason it was the use of "slightly soiled" for the chicken rolls that got me. A memorable piece.
ReplyDeleteExcellent contribution for the task.
NanU, thankyou - What a great blurb for me pome!
ReplyDeleteCrazy field mouse, That's so true about wanting to believe we're older and wiser - and still I'd say most of us would act the same way we would have 20 years ago if put in the same situations.
Thanks Argent - It was a dose of reality at the time, that's for sure!
Domestic, Thanks a million.
Poetikat, I'm glad you liked it. Tfe's Poetry Bus prompts are great, methinks.
This is very striking - the trains coming and going provide a perfect backdrop for the speaker's disconnect and feelings ofuselessness and hopelessness.
ReplyDeleteI like that you dreamt about the station and the trains when you'd left. Nice and circular
ReplyDeleteKaren, I didn't see that connection until you pointed it out - maybe some themes only become clear after a poem is written?
ReplyDeleteEmerging Writer, Thanks for visiting - Am off to yours now to have a read!
I'm with Kat...the chicken roll detail is cleverly done. And it's nasty.
ReplyDeletex
I agree with Swiss.Days can be long when you don't have a job.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rachel - slightly soiled chicken rolls - yum!
ReplyDeleteTerry, thanks for your comment and for visiting.
some beautiful lines in this poem.. loads of them! the older men with crosshatched faces, just stunning!
ReplyDeleteI also love the sad spirit of youithful adventure wrapped up in this, I'm reading again! :-D