Monday, March 1, 2010

TFE's Poetry Bus is on the roooooaaad

This week Total Feckin' Eeejit's prompt was very deep and meaty, prompting lots of dark thoughts and pondering. Here's me offering, (as usual I'm late)

Night and day

There is a rhythm
to the way the grass
as a unit,
a mass of millions
of blades
that slice
through the air
like knives.

There is a beach
not far from here
where people walk,
back and forth,
from their lives
like metal filings
by the tide’s
invisible pull.

There is a woman
who opened her mouth
and all that came
out were snatches
of tunes
borne by the waves
of the radio playing
on the windowsill
next to her bed.

There is a sense to the way
that things grow,
to pennywort blooming
on a stone wall,
to celandines starring
a shaded bank,
to a body cast
deep into the soil,
to night eating day.


  1. Night eating day , isn't that life/death in a nutshell?

  2. Especially like your last verse.

  3. Yep, me too. That last verse is a wonderful finalé (and therefore, very apt!) Works well as a pome on its own too.

  4. That second last verse smacks you right in the skull with imagery! fantastic! and the world keeps turning.. ain't that the truth!

  5. the world is a vivid and dangerous place. I will be careful going barefoot this summer! Fabulous images.

  6. I'm with the rest; I really liked that last verse, but also the blades slicing through the air.


  7. Tfe, thanks for the prompt. It had me racking(wracking?) my brains for the past few days.

    Thanks Rachel - needs a little more work, I think, but it's only new yet.

    Watercats, thanks. Years ago I was told about a woman who this happened to - it sounds far too fantastic to be true, but the idea always stuck in my head.

    NanU, thanks for your comment. Am off to yours now to have a read!

    Poetikat, thanks for visiting :)

  8. Sorry P Nolan - just spotted your comment. Thanks for visiting. I suppose that last verse could work by itself alright - hmmmmmm

  9. I had to read that last bit out loud. Twice. Just beautiful.

  10. enjoyed that alot, really like the blades of grass being knife like, also the people drawn to the beach - gorgeous poem

  11. The poetical equivalent of a Fellini film. Some striking images.

  12. I found the whole poem really striking, with the twists to the imagery in the first two stanzas enough to unsettle, and then (I'm with the watercats) the astonishing third stanza, which I loved in all its jarringness.
    And then the beauty, and sensuality, of the final stanza was a stunning finale, as already said. Good one!

  13. I'm nodding my head at Titus's comment. Every stanza seems build. I think this is really good poetry. Period.

  14. Willow, Thanks for the lovely comment, and for visiting.

    Thanks Niamh - With the beach verse I was trying to get at the idea of people being pushed and pulled around by magnetic forces. Not sure if it entirely comes across, but at least you liked it, right?

    Peter, thanks for visiting. A Fellini film! Wow - I'm honoured.

    Titus, thanks for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful comment. I'm delighted you think the poem works as a whole.

    Karen, thank you! I really appreciate your comment.

  15. Artsparker, Thanks for dropping by and having a read. I'm enjoying the Alice posts over at your place.