Monday, May 10, 2010

Totally random poem for totalfeckineejit’s poetry bus

Which this week is being driven by Padhraig Nolan.


  1. I think the beast missed them. ; )

    A captivating narrative poem here, P.F.

  2. I love the fairy taleness of this poem... and it reminded me of the shining too (I guess that would be the hotel)
    brill writing!

  3. Jeanne Iris, thank you. I read recently that narrative poems are deeply unfashionable - all I know is I like them ;)

  4. Narrative, smarrative! This is a fine poem, full stop. I liked the whole approach, there are some really magical lines and the dark fairy-tale narrative-but-more is just beautifully done. Levels and levels of meaning.

  5. Thanks Watercats - The shining thing only occurred to me after I'd written it. It's a little crushing to discover you're not as original as you'd like to think ;)

    NanU, Thank you!

    Titus - you always say the nicest things. Thank you!

  6. I like narrative poems and there's nothing wrong with them. I like this one I could really 'see' the kids running up and down screaming - and then the stillness of the ending afterwards. Neat!

  7. This is lovely, great shifts of mood within it - the sinister giving way to fun, and on to satisfaction. Very nice.

  8. shades of disturbing and joy mish mapped mopped up.Your trade mark punchline tidies all and I love this

    'Forgotten ghosts burst into the air
    like startled birds and flutter through
    the corridors, through windows, open doors,
    then come to rest on lawns and gravelled
    paths like discarded clothes.'

    Deadly delicious.

  9. Padhraig, thanks a million - and nice driving. There were so many fantastic poems this week, and all so different. Really enjoyed reading them.

    Argent, thanks - glad you liked it!

    Niamh, thanks for that :)

    Tfe, Thanks a million - pity you didn't get to jump on board. Would've loved to see what you would have come up with.

  10. Good one - especially the delightfully surreal penultimate stanza.

  11. Thanks tfe - that's high praise coming from you!

    Hi Dominic, thanks for reading :)